why does my cat wake me up at 4am?

As a veterinarian, I've heard this many times.

It's often mentioned almost as an aside. Something slightly embarrassing to admit, but with an undertone of: help.

My standard response is: your cat has trained you well.

What do you do when your cat wakes you? Feed them? Let them outside? Give them a pat?

When you do these things, you reinforce the behaviour.

They want food. They want to go outside. They want affection. They wake you — and you give them what they want.

To change the behaviour, we need to change the reward. Breakfast happens when you get up, not when your cat wakes you. The door opens when you get up. Attention comes when you get up.

It can be difficult initially, particularly when your cat has learnt that persistence works. But over time, without the reward, the behaviour should begin to change.

Your cat has trained you well.

Now it's your turn.